Constraints are, well, constraining. But they are ubiquitous. Everything from gravity to financial means is a constraint. They surround us. Sometimes they are placed on us by others. Or society. Or the universe. Sometimes, however, they are placed on us by ourselves, often to our detriment.
Subconscious Imposition
Often what makes self-imposed constraints detrimental is the fact that we often impose them on ourselves subconsciously. We form habits based on what constraints apply to us. And our habits form the framework of our lives. So not being aware of the limitations we place on ourselves can have far-reaching consequences. To start, without awareness we cannot analyze whether our imposed limitations are valid in the first place. But even if we luck out and our subconscious self-imposed constraints start out valid, life is dynamic and circumstances change. And if we are not aware of our self-imposed constraints then we cannot adapt them to reflect any changes in circumstance.
And we’re not alone. Animals do this too.
In the past when horses were the main form of transportation, they were tied to posts outside of stores and saloons while their rider went inside. An untrained horse would pull at its harness, trying to leave its post. Over time, however, the horse understood they were fixed to the post and couldn’t leave. The horse internalized this notion so much so that its rider no longer needed to tie the horse to the post. Simply setting the reigns on the post—maybe looping them around the post—was enough of a signal to the horse that they were stuck. At any moment the horse could have left but, thinking it was a futile effort, didn’t even try.
I witnessed a similar phenomenon with my parents’ dog. My parents’ yard had remained the same size for decades and we all became accustomed to it, including their pet dog. He wore a small path along the fence nearest a bordering sidewalk as he would run back and forth barking at the passersby. Then the fence got replaced and moved outwards, growing the yard’s area. But after the fence moved, the dog didn’t. He kept pacing his familiar track even though he was a dozen feet from the new fence line.
This type of self-imposed constraint is limiting. We internalize real constraints as something permanent, oftentimes subconsciously. At first, they are imposed on us. Then we use them on ourselves. It becomes a prison of our own making.
Succumbing to limits stunts our growth. We need to test the limits to find out where they are. Moreover, we need to determine if the limits are real and helpful. Then, understanding that limits are temporary and fluctuate with time, we must retest them over and over again.
Intentional Constraints
The previous section was about how imposing constraints on ourselves is limiting. But it isn’t always so. When done with intention, constraints help us meet deadlines, improve health, and grow.
Humans have shared the idea of setting personal constraints through stories and myths for ages. One of the most famous (and oldest) cases is in The Odyssey, by Homer.
Among his many exploits, the protagonist Odysseus comes across the island of Aeaea, home of Circe, where he stays for a year. Upon his departure from the island to return home, Circe warns him about the Sirens he’ll encounter on his journey. All who sailed by the Sirens’ islands became bewitched by their song and met their end upon the jagged rocks as their ships crashed.
Determined not to be their next victim, and knowing his own limitations, Odysseus set a constraint upon himself: he ordered his crew to tie him to the mast of the ship, unable to move. His crew, meanwhile, would have beeswax stuffed in their ears so they couldn’t hear the Sirens at all. By imposing constraints on himself and his crew, Odysseus’ ship passed the Siren’s island intact and they continued on their journey home.
More recently, Katy Milkman, professor at the Wharton School of Business at Pennsylvania University, covers how some personal constraints are beneficial in her book How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.
One such example is with students in a class at MIT. Early in the semester, the class received a large assignment that was due at the end of the semester. However, the professor provided an alternate option for intermediate deadlines (with penalties) along the way. Some students opted for self-imposed intermediate deadlines, whereas others chose to have one single deadline at the end of the semester. The result? The students who had intermediate deadlines–self-imposed deadlines–turned in assignments that had roughly 50% fewer errors than the students who had a single deadline at the end.
This strategy of purposefully imposing constraints upon ourselves is a commitment device. Commitment devices provide the right amount of stress to help add direction and structure to our habits, which in turn helps us avoid tempting pitfalls.
Conclusion
Like many things in life, constraints are neither inherently good nor bad. They can lead to both outcomes depending on how they are used—intentionally or subconsciously—and whether they are balanced or out of whack. This is where you come in.
You have the ability to co-opt your life. You can reform your habits. Once you understand that most limits are finite, you can begin to move the needle on how they impact your life. And by owning and wielding the limits in your life, the chains of constraint start to loosen, which allows you space to grow.
